Old Stone Tablets.

sometimes i face a dilemma.  sometimes there is a topic that i really want to write about, but can't.  i sit down to write about this particular topic and out comes something completely different.  out comes this flood of gosh knows what.  it is then i realize that my heart is intricately linked to my fingertips whether i like it or not.  it goes something like this...


"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."


i saw people casually walking down some friendly neighborhood street.  each person was carrying their heart.  literally, their physical heart.  but the thing is, most of the hearts didn't look so good.


this one girl was pulling hers by a rope. it was being dragged behind her.  she paid no attention to the mud it collected and the chunks that fell off as it skid along the asphalt.  she was too busy trying to impress this guy who was walking beside her.  she was flirty and fun.  she was googly-eyed and, to put it lightly, rather distracted.


and desperate.


this guy she was hopelessly trying to make notice her was carrying his heart too.  though he wasn't carrying it.  he was kicking it along -  the way you would kick a soccer ball down the street.  with every step...a kick.  and then another.  he really had no interest in the girl.  how could he?  his heart was getting kicked around and hers was dragging in the mud.


then i saw this woman, probably in her late thirties, and she was carrying her heart in a plastic bag.  the bag was old and had some leaks.  the blood of her wounded heart kept dripping through the holes, leaving a trail of blood behind her wherever she walked.  she was oblivious to it.


i saw this man, probably in his late thirties, and he was carrying his heart in a steel safe.  it was locked inside and no one had the code to get in.  not even him.  he kept looking at all the others with an air of condemnation "they don't know what they're doing just throwing and dragging their hearts around, letting them break and fall."  he walked with arrogance and with self-righteous pride.


then i saw this woman - she was carrying her heart too.  but hers was adorned with the most beautiful words, written on old stone tablets, hanging from her heart by the most light-filled, golden thread.  words like: love.  faithfulness.  WISDOM.


but then, she did something.  she walked up to the man who was carrying his heart inside the safe.  and as she did, she hid hers.  she tore off the beautiful gold strings and those stone tablets, and she shoved her heart into her pocket and pretended like it didn't exist.  she initiated conversation with this man; imitated someone she wasn't, hiding her heart away in her back pocket, hoping that he would find her more attractive if she were "more like him."  and the more she pretended, the more she doubted those old stone tablets; the more she justified tearing them off.  and in all of her self-talk, her heart kept beating and pulsing stronger and faster as it sat in her pocket.  she would ever so secretly without him noticing, take her hand and hold it over her back pocket and squeeze her heart to the point of its suffocation.  she couldn't be bothered by it.


her motives were clear: get him to unlock his safe.  because if he did, well then he would be able to "love her."  all of this at the expense of her own destruction.

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isn't that was Proverbs tell us?  those wisdom chapters.  "do this and find life" or "do that and find death."  "do this and find prosperity" or "do that and find destruction."  sometimes that Truth can be tough to swallow. it's just so black and white. so we fight it and try to live in the in-between.  we don't believe it when we're told that our heart is the wellspring of life.

ABOVE ALL ELSE.  guard your heart.  it is a wellspring.  from there all life flows.  

i suppose what i have been noticing, contemplating, and praying about is this thing i keep seeing.  people not guarding their heart (and we've all done it, myself included).  people dragging it in the mud, walling it off, hiding it, kicking it, letting it bleed.  even more, people who know the Truth - people who could recite these wisdom verses to you - and yet they've tore those tablets clear off and decided to just "do their own thing."  it makes my insides hurt.  literally.  my stomach hurts as i write.  i've cried some serious tears lately as i've watched people try and convince themselves that though they have gone astray, somehow it won't end in a fall.


we're living amongst a culture where we ignore Wisdom (suffocated, back pocket hearts) and we deny our hurt (leaving a trail of blood wherever we go).


so we get a bunch of people who self-destruct and never heal.


i understand.  we are all on our own "journey."  i get it. i totally do.  sometimes things just have to happen.  and the Lord allows it.  He is in control of all hearts - he knows us all.  that relieves me immensely.  thank God that he is God.  i know he's got it... but that doesn't mean it's easy to watch people treat their heart like it's no big deal.
like it doesn't matter.
like it's unaffected.
like it's not wounded and hurt.
like it isn't completely lost.


all we have to do is go to Proverbs to see how important - and life giving - Wisdom is.  "Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom."  and there we see that we are told to wrap our heart up in it.  and when we do, well...we find God.


"My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as silver and search for it as hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God."


"...Then you will understand what is right and just and fair - every good path.  For wisdom will enter your heart and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.  Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you."  


you don't guard your heart in steel.
or pride.
or shame.
or common sense.
or in a boy or a girl.


"Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold.  She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.  Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor.  Her ways are pleasant ways and all her paths are peace.  She is a tree of life to those who embrace her; those who lay hold of her will be blessed."


when i read these ancient words they tell me something very clear:  do this and FIND LIFE.  do this and FIND GOD.  i am to hold on to this instruction.  i am to seek out this wisdom even if it costs me everything.  and then i am to guard my heart in it because it brings me what is truly life.  "...Do not forget my words or swerve from them. Do not forsake wisdom and she will protect you; love her and she will watch over you."


i could go on and on... but scripture is rather straight-forward here. why then, do we think we know better?  why do we forsake wisdom?  why do we tear off the stone tablets on our heart?  why do we kick it around, drag it around, and fail to notice that it's just bleeding everywhere?  why do we not seek wisdom - ahem, hunt it down - and then guard our heart all up in it, believing that it is life and death important and that it is the spring from which everything else in us will flow.  

Was the Word not clear or do you just not believe it?

and if the Word is clear, but it's just not that important to you than there has to be something about it you don't believe.  something is keeping you from "guarding your heart" and i doubt it's just sheer laziness.  


but even then... Satan loves laziness.


i get it.  when Proverbs 4 reads, "Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.  Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm.  Do not swerve to the right of the left." sometimes, that can be really hard.  like, really hard.  but here's the thing, if you get Wisdom you will "fear the Lord and find the knowledge of God."  and when you fear (revere) him, he gets huge. he gets grand. he is magnified.  

ever looked through a magnifying glass at something? you can see detail.  movement. a whole new world opens up through that looking glass...right?  that's what happens here.  God becomes even more REAL.  even more ALIVE.  you begin to see him in ways you haven't before.  you begin to see him for who he truly is - and not all those traits you put on him.  and so you start to trust him more.  and love him more.  you begin to experience that he really does want your good - and only your good.  you grow into an even deeper relationship with him ("deep calls to deep").  and when you are intimately walking with that God?  well... looking ahead, staying focused, and fixing your gaze directly before you becomes something you want to do, not merely something you try to do.  you're not going to be as easily distracted anymore.  you're not going to swerve to the right and to the left.  why would you?  your God is straight-ahead.  true life is straight-ahead.  you believe that now.  and so you go after it with everything in you.  you no longer see your life as constantly having to say "no" to all those distractions and those "things you think you want and aren't allowed to have,"but you see your life as an incredible gift, saying an emphatic "YES" to the God before you.  


you don't even need to use your "no's" because you're no longer distracted.

recently my pastor wrote me an email encouraging me in something and in part, he wrote, "... and I sensed God's hand upon your life - GUARD IT WITH EVERYTHING IN YOU!"  

i loved the way he wrote it - it was inspiring. it was convicting.  my ears perked up and i thought to myself, "this is instruction.  LISTEN."  i just got this picture of every force and every power of God, arming me up to guard what he deems as such precious treasure:  my heart.  

this is where i sit up at the tip of my chair and roll my wrists...

"ABOVE ALL ELSE, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

your heart is an insanely precious treasure.  it is not to be abused by choosing the ways of this world.  it is not to be ignored or denied.  it is not to be locked away and hidden.  it has to be guarded in the right way or else everything will suffer. 

 and if you don't seek wisdom, you won't know how to guard it.

wisdom is clear on this point: choosing another way leads to death.  destruction.  a bleeding and unhealed heart. 

(but i suppose some of us are simply committed to learning this the hard way.)

this is what i ask: listen closely to what God says.  keep your eye on the wisdom of his Word at all times.  do not leave it behind.  do not forget to take it with you. do not shelf it.  do not compromise it.  do not downplay it.  do not dilute it.


do not carry your wounded heart in a plastic bag.  do not kick it around.  do not drag it through the mire.  do not hide it.  do not lock it away. do not suffocate it.  your heart is to be protected.  it is vital.  this is your life we're talking about.


offer up your tattered, beaten up, kicked-around, and dragged-through-the-mud heart to the hands of God.  he's the only one that can heal it.  and his wisdom is the only thing that can direct it.  

yes. this road is narrow. 

yes.  it's not always easy. 

yes, it's going to cost you.

but yes, it's so remarkably worth it.

make the decision.  

remember what I asked?

Was the Word not clear or do you just not believe it?

these are eternal decisions.  not temporal ones.

do not forsake Wisdom.  keep it deep within your heart.  

and you will find God - the giver of everything good - who gives True life to those who earnestly seek it.