BOOTS.

So I just got home from work (far too late to be arriving home on a Friday night I might add) and I am quite tired.  As I sat down to take off my boots after a long day, I realized they were kind of (definitely) stuck to my feet.  They are my cowboy (girl) boots and those suckers should come with insurance and a "how to take these off" handbook.  (Insurance because every time you go to take them off, you inevitably end up hitting yourself in the face with full force).  When I finally got them off my poor swollen feet from a day of moving about, I had a "huh" kind of a moment.

"Huh"moments - let me clarify.  Those moments when something strikes you (a thing, a person, a song, a smell, an old photo, etc) and by the observation of that something, you receive some kind of revelation from God.  I could call it a "revelational" moment (because that's truly what it is), but for some reason when those moments come at me in those most "still, small voice" kind of ways (like through a cowboy boot) my initial response is "huh...well how about that."

But as I sat here after getting these boots off my feet (and getting the cramp out of my toe), I looked down at them.  I thought to myself "I love those things. They have line danced and two stepped many a Saturday night."  But more than that - and to be so cliche and corny and downright pretty weird - they mark something for me.  You see, about a year ago my mom bought them for me as a birthday gift (bless her generous and sweet loving soul).  And at about that same time, I was going through some pretty hard stuff in the heart.  But from the pure loving simplicity of God's grace and love, he brought me out into a "spacious place.  He rescued me because he delighted in me."  Boy oh boy does he!   (Do you know how much he delights in you?! It is pretty fantastic).  He brought me out into a new life, a new "me" (or rather, an even more whole/healed/content me).  He surfaced up desires in my heart that I did not know were desires.  He surfaced up dreams that in my prior season of life, I had no business dreaming.  He blew off the ceiling on my heart and trashed every limitation I ever put on myself.  Through the divine guiding of his hand and his promises that always stayed true, I found myself smack dab in the middle of my life, doing things, going places, and meeting people that I never thought I would.  It was as if this whole new world opened up before me and for probably the first (real) time ever, I experienced a best friend to do it all with: Him.

Throughout my life, I have experienced God the Father, the Counselor, and the Healer (man is he ever!)  But as of late - or through this last year or so - I have experienced God the Husband and Best Friend like never before.  I mean, I thought I had experienced him that way before- and I'm sure I did.  But this time it goes so much deeper.  It's so steady.  It's so my "every day."  It just blows my mind.

(A side note to all women: If you haven't experienced God the Husband and Best Friend, start praying to.  But keep in mind, he will most likely need to orchestrate life circumstances that enable him to be just that.  Trust me - wait no, trust him - it's so worth it).

I went to put my boots in my closet and noticed the leather bottoms all scuffed up and walked on.  And I realized...these boots have been used.  They have been worn.  They have ventured outward - despite heartache and pain - they have danced.   I just sat down in my closet for a second and took it all in.  He has been with me every step of the way.  He has made me brave when I was too scared to be.  And through his all-perfect and everlasting love, I was gifted the courage to dance and move forward with my life, trusting that as I did he would right all my wrong steps and perfect my path.

He dances with me to the harmonies of Heaven.

It's pretty captivating.

I suppose the craziest, most surreal and incredible part about all this is, is that I realized - just now somehow - that I have never been more fulfilled, satisfied, and content...ever.  I have no thoughts of "I wish this....or that"  I have no thoughts of "If I only I were more this....or that."  I am just me.  And I am loved.  Just as I am.  Right now, sitting on my closet room floor staring at my boots (and laughing at the fact that I sense and hear from God in the unlikeliest of things and places.  I mean, cowgirl boots....really, Cort?)

But I must say - it's quite the "huh" moment when you find yourself in the midst of life (of course it's never without struggle, but always with joy) and you think "I am loved by my One and Only. I am cherished by my One and Only. He sees me as beautiful and wants all the best for my life.  He will never mess up, he will never take back a promise, and he will always, always, always have my back. Period."  (And he better because those dips on the dance floor would be a doozy if he didn't).

I suppose before I was still a bit scared to do certain things.  I suppose before there was still a part of my heart that - deep down - didn't believe I was worthy to partner with him quite like this.  I suppose before there was a part of me that held back out of...you name it.  It is quite soul transforming and heart freeing when you stop holding back, when fear is cast out because perfect love is received, and when you believe the truth that you are worthy to partner with your Husband and Best Friend.  After all, isn't that what we were created to do?

It may seem silly to some ("Boots, Cortney? Seriously?")

YES...boots.
Seriously.
Because they go on my feet.  "How beautiful are the feet..."
And my feet will and desire to go wherever his feet go.