Only a Woman.

Only a woman can listen to music, email, talk on the phone, and cook at the same time.

Only a woman could watch two kids while doing all that.

Only a woman can hold her baby and know what it feels like to be a part of something miraculous; literally a part of it.

Only a woman can birth life.

Only a woman knows the pains in giving birth.

Only a woman can hold her little girl or boy when they get hurt and ease the tears like no one else can.

Only a woman can have a glass of wine with her girlfriends and laugh at nothing and everything, while eating homemade cookies in pj’s and blankets, talking about life and love and why none of it is very easy, but worth it.

Only a woman can submit and support her husband like Sarah did for Abraham.

Only a woman can fall on her face before her Maker, in tears of insecurity, exclaiming her worries about what the world says defines her, what the mirror tells her, and what her heart fears about being alone.

Only a woman can cry for no reason and be okay with it.

Only a woman with a peaceful and steadfast spirit can come alongside her man and melt away his doubts and his fears of failure; simply by having a quiet, trusting heart in who she is, who he is, and who God is.

Only a woman can tell you how it feels to be looked at and treated like she’s an object.

Only a woman can tell you what it’s like to be created with such a soft, yet strong heart; though she may be attacked by men who abuse her, or endure the relational heartache that plagues her fallen existence, she will still say to her Father, “Nothing Wasted.”

Only a woman can hold her family together without saying much at all; she sits behind the scenes, beside her husband with her kids by her side, forming a unified family by rising early, working with her hands, creating a home, and bringing good, not harm all the days of their lives.

Only a woman can tell you how it feels to be held after a hard day. "It's going to be okay." 5 words that heal her, if only for a night.

Only a woman can look in the mirror and see something entirely different than what everyone else sees.

Only a woman knows the pain of such a feeling…

Only a woman knows what it’s like to bear the cultural pressure of what makes her beautiful.

Only a woman can tell you the resistance she faces while swimming against the societal tide that tells her who she is, how to be, and what to feel.

Only a woman can tell you the intimate, complicated, uncomfortable, supernatural, odd, and wild details of all things that go into the anatomy of what makes her a woman, and why so often those details drive her absolutely crazy.

Only a woman can tell you how it feels to hear "I love you" from the man she loves.

Only a woman can tell you how it feels to come home after a long day or a night out, kick off her heels, take off the dress, strip off the makeup, jump into her sweats, and let out that infamous satisfied sigh that means, “I’m home.”

Only a woman can tell you what its like to have a certain power over a man; the kind of power that can seduce and tempt to get what she wants: Love.

Only a woman really knows why she does these things, why she wants to draw him in; to fill her up inside and to break the silence she feels in her soul, questioning “Am I loved?”

Only a woman knows that power and how to use it to birth life, or birth destruction.

Only a woman in love knows what it’s like to endure, to be patient, to sit quietly, to be still, and to trust that her God won’t forsake her.

Only a woman knows how it feels to bear the faulty or vacant love of her earthly father, wondering if her Real Father loves her more than he ever did.

Only a woman can tell you what its like to be raised without a mother, or have one that barely raised her at all, and see life through a lens that doesn’t involve a woman to admire, to look up to, to “be like when she gets older;” that is a frightening place for her to be – after all, who is going to tell her all the secrets to womanhood? And who will tell her she’ll make a great wife, and an amazing mother, when her very own failed to show her the way.

Only a woman knows what it’s like to take the name of her husband; to become a part of him, his life, and his family. To be his greatest fan, his biggest champion, and his best friend.

Only a woman knows what it’s like to mis-carry her unborn baby.

Only a woman knows the pain of having to give up her own flesh and blood for adoption.

Only a woman can laugh and cry at the same time, over the same thing, and not know why.

Only a woman can cook dinner at home for one, single, yet content- even joyful. She longs for a companion, a teammate, because it’s breathed into the blood that gives life to her heart, but it does not take away from the joy she feels, standing in the kitchen, alone but not lonely; cooking her favorite dinner, listening to her favorite song, wearing her favorite apron.

Only a woman knows how it feels, amidst such a setting, to be surrounded by the presence of her True Husband, realizing her identity as His True Bride. Her longing for that man, though it will someday come, isn’t a bad longing. But only a woman knows what it’s like to turn that longing back to her Father, desiring not just a Man, but her Maker, and surrendering that desire all the time.

Only a woman knows what it’s like to watch her husband seemingly fail in his work, grow anxious, and even insecure in his capabilities as a man, a husband, and a father.

Only a woman for her man knows how to be with him in those struggles- when there’s absolutely nothing she can say or do, but pray and hope incessantly, when he doesn’t have the strength to.

Only a woman knows the patches that make up the fabric of her soul; the fibers of pain and the threads of joy, sewn together by her Father who knows all about her, more than she knows about herself.

The gifts of womanhood are much clearer to me now, though the quilt of my heart is not finished. But as I think on what makes a woman a woman – what she has to offer, to give, and to sacrifice, I can’t help but realize how powerful God made us. Women have such powerful and resilient hearts. But at the same time, they are so tender, seemingly fragile. We experience deeply, we feel deeply, and we love deeply.

Women are different. They just are. Very, very different. We aren’t men, thank God. And men aren’t us, thank God! But do women - we women - really know all the idiosyncratic, amazing gifts that make us God’s daughters- each unique, each beautiful, and each loved individually by Him, the Creator of all Creation… Do we really know?

There are things that only we can experience. Things that only we can understand. Your man cannot comprehend all of it, and that’s okay- he’s not supposed to, so don’t force it. Some things are better left as a mystery anyhow. But a woman can relate. And God will always understand. We women need one another from the depths of who we are. Not to isolate ourselves from men and exclaim “you just don’t get me;” no, no- that would be destructive. But rather to connect with a similar soul who knows what these experiences are like; or at least just to be near the quiet heart of a woman who can bring much needed rest simply by being who she is.

We need each other to be reminded how precious we are. We are the Beloved. And there are things that only we can do. There are also things we cannot do and we ought to learn to be okay with those too. As a woman, God created us with limitations. Not to destroy us, but to free us.

As I talk with the women in my life, I can’t help but see that undeniable, mighty heart seeping through each one. I don’t know if they see it in themselves as much as I do – but it is there. It comes out in tears, in laughter, in conversation, silence or prayer.

In struggle, their hearts show up as pure. And in joy, their hearts show up as beautiful.

Each woman is matchless – there is no one else like her. Because she is a woman, there are pains that only she will experience; but there are also great joys that only she will experience too. She may not know it about herself, but she has the strength to get through the pain. And when she does, that joy will come like a raging flood, uncontainable and rare.

There is nothing replaceable about the heart of a woman.
There is nothing mainstream about what she endures.
And there is nothing common about how she loves.

I thank God I'm a woman. It's not always easy. But it sure is rewarding, even fun. God has high expectations of me, of us women. And I'm all the more glad for it. No matter what it costs, He will make us into what he is, through the light of our feminine hearts. And then, I hope, we will see his Glory here.

(A Note To Men: Not like I’m a wise old woman with years of experience, but let me just say what I do know to be true…)

You won’t ever fully understand her nor will you do a lot "right" in your first decade of knowing her. But don’t fear. She seems complicated, I know. She cries and you don’t know why (neither does she). Much goes on in the heart of a woman; emotions and things that even she can't grasp. Give her Grace for this because she probably won't have much on herself. She isn’t meant to be understood anyway, but loved. Protect her with your life. Challenge her. Hug her. Talk to her about things other than work, sports, or money. She will listen to you gladly, this I know, but there will come a time when all she will want is you-undivided, without the conversation-just you. Be her partner, her friend, her companion. She was made to help you – let her. And when all else fails or you don’t know what to do, remember this: Women are beautiful when they know they’re loved. And when they know they’re loved, a woman (a real woman) flourishes in ways you’d never dreamed. Tell her what she is to you. Love her with your life. I can promise- if she’s anything like the women I know- she will love you with hers.